Or: How Baby Music time with your little one makes for a happier life
I remember those first months with my first child. A lot of it was simply day to day survival on little sleep with a body and heart that were adjusting to everything in my life being different from how it was before Ethan came into our lives.
There was a sense that this was a profound opportunity to grow the parts of life experience that were important to me and to share them with him. But what did I want to give my baby? This sense of possibility sometimes felt overwhelming.
What came to me most, was that I wanted him to be happy, to know that he is loved, that he is wanted, and that he is welcomed just as he is, in the world. I wanted him to know that I was glad to be with him and my life was better for him being in it.
But how to convey this?
A lot of how I offered this to my children was through listening to them (whether it was gurgles, body language or expressions) and playing with them. I’m a couples therapist, and I know that developmentally, this sense of attunement through play is essential for secure connection.
But play isn’t always easy. Especially with really little ones and after long days that seem to melt into one another.
This is where music came into our life together.
There is a reason that we talk about ‘playing’ music. Music offers a way of light, joyful, meaningful connection beyond words. It lifts us up in the low moments, and can punctuate the everydayness of life with a soundtrack that can make the mundane into poetry, into play!
The magic of music is how it makes us feel.
I think many of the parents who come to my classes either had a childhood and teenagehood filled with music – making it, dancing to it, loving it! Those parents want to pass that gift on to their little ones – to share the language that has supported them, grown their confidence and creativity and provided the background to their lives. Or they had the opposite: That music felt somehow out of reach- they never felt confident in making music, and wanted to give the gift of confidence and ease to their kids.
I experienced music as a truly beautiful aspect of my life that’s always held me. It’s something that has always been there. Being dyslexic and dyspraxic, school wasn’t easy, but I was fortunate enough to have been in environments where making music felt easy and accessible. I remembered how music made me feel, and still makes me feel. And so I offered it to my kids
I wrote songs and found songs:
Songs about the trees we passed down the street,
Songs about nappies, slides, swings,
Preparing the dinner
Splashing in puddles
Butterflies, grasshoppers, wolves and trains!
Songs about love and belonging, songs about the ducks in the park, songs about autumn leaves, songs about being noisy, being silly, going to bed and waking up… and of course songs about poo!
There is so much to sing about and play about! (you get the picture 🙂
And then, 19 years ago, I created a group for little ones and those who love them, so I could share the happiness with other families! Mish Mash Music used all my skills as a musician, youth arts worker and educator and now therapist, to bring the fun of music making to the families in my community in St Albans.
FYI. That song about poo, (Smelly Welly Poo Poo) written for my now 19 year old son in his first weeks, is, I think, likely to be my legacy! I meet teenagers who used to come to the class who still remember singing it, and some of my son’s friends keenly request it when I give them a lift home from the pub (and spookily know all the words!)
If you’d like to hear the Smelly Welly Poo Poo songs and a selection of some of the Mish Mash songs I wrote, check out this one of my album free on Spotify
And to come along to my baby music and toddler music classes In St Albans and enjoy making music together with your little one, have a wander around this website https://mishmashmusic.info/ or get the booking info here
I know you can’t give your children ‘happiness’, but it turns out that you can make your life happier with music! Music creates rich moments of connection and play, helps days flow more smoothly, helps feelings of stuckness move in both grumpy kids and grumpy adults! And this is one of the gifts I offered my kids, and offered myself.
When I think back on those early years, I remember how much we sang and played (as well as all the not-so-easy stuff!) and it’s something I’ll always treasure.
